Customized, machined pizza cutters

These are actually very cool.


Political Cartoons -All Hat No Cattle.net

I just like the name.

Wish List, continued

They need to make an MP3 Player with removable flash cards, like digital cameras. Batteries should be replaceable, too. After a while, they don't recharge.

Also, an MP3 player that also included a radio. Sometimes I want to know what's going on in the world.

It would be nice if all those people doing blogs that are nothing more than a recitation of all the things their toddlers did today (i.e. slept through the night. ate all her strained peas.) or recitations of their minor accomplishments at work (today I fixed the copy machine!) or worst of all, recitations of their sexcapades (I won't give you any examples, sorry) would just go away. If you don't have anything interesting to say, don't blog. oh, yeah, and friends don't let friends blog drunk! I'm also not thrilled with the blog by the woman who finally got off methadone after 15 years. "hello. I am a major fuck-up who can't take responsibility for my own life. It's not my fault, I'm sick. Please applaud me as I try to grow up. finally. I'm only 35, you know. I've never done anything that was actually, you know, hard, before."

Fortunately, I can choose to never, ever go back. But it would be nice if they would wake up and realize that they need to get a life before they blog about one.

Lord Almighty, CNN Sucks | Oliver Willis

"Lord Almighty, CNN Sucks
Filed under: Liberal Media | Media | Religious Right | Video
Especially when they just let bigots rant and rave. Watch the video below to witness the horror."

Jon Stewart Rules!
via Iggy


Keeping Great Crowds Off Central Park's Great Lawn

"The city's Parks Department wants to limit gatherings on the Great Lawn in Central Park to 50,000 people, a move that would end an era in which hundreds of thousands of people turned to the park as a place to protest, or to see the pope, Pavarotti and Simon and Garfunkel, officials said yesterday."

ABC News: Exploding Toads Puzzle German Scientists

"More than 1,000 toads have puffed up and exploded in a Hamburg pond in recent weeks, and scientists still have no explanation for what's causing the combustion, an official said Wednesday."

Hide all the Little Kittens!

"Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who belonged to the Hitler Youth before he became a priest, won the papacy by a landslide and styled himself Benedict XVI. The new pope dislikes homosexuality (he moved quickly to condemn a Spanish bill that would permit gays to marry), abortion, and the death penalty, but he loves little kittens. In 2001, he ordered Catholic bishops to hide allegations against pedophile priests from the public. "


Americans Pay Off Credit Card Debt! - This is not science fiction. It's really happening. By Daniel Gross

"Bad news for the credit card companies may be better news for us. There are signs at both companies that consumers may be responding to higher rates by doing something almost completely unexpected and practically un-American: paying down credit card debt."

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Concern over rise of 'happy slapping' craze

"Concern over rise of 'happy slapping' craze

Fad of filming violent attacks on mobile phones spreads "

Chowhound.com: A Quick Intro

"If you, too, fret endlessly about making every bite count; if you'd grow weak from hunger rather than willingly eat something less than delicious, this place is for you! Welcome to our community. Let's talk. "


Tracker Trail - Fire - Can of Coke and a chocolate bar

Tracker Trail - Fire - Can of Coke and a chocolate bar

Grant Robinson : Guess-the-google launcher

"About the game
After creating Montage-a-google, several people wrote to me suggesting I make a game based on the same technology. Montage-a-google is a simple web app that uses Google's image search to generate a large gridded montage of images based on keywords (search terms) entered by the user. Guess-the-google reverses this process by picking the keywords for you, the player must then guess what keyword made up the image - it's surprisingly addictive. "

Email destroys the mind faster than marijuana - study | The Register

"Modern technology depletes human cognitive abilities more rapidly than drugs, according to a psychiatric study conducted at King's College, London. And the curse of 'messaging' is to blame."


It's Matisyahu, the Hasidic Reggae Hip-Hop artist, live on Jimmy Kimmel:

Jewish Rapper

Arnold Exposed

For what it's worth:

"The son of an SS nazi officer,
Schwarzenegger has publicly stated that
he has dreamed of being a dictator and that he
admires Hitler. He campaigned for war criminal
Kurt Waldhiem after it had been made public that he
was a top nazi."


The Lone Star Iconoclast Online

"I'll make a deal with Ted Nugent.
He shuts up about politics, and I won't play guitar."

This, from W.'s hometown newspaper in Crawford.

Edge: THE MATHEMATICS OF LOVE: A Talk with John Gottman

"We were able to derive a set of nonlinear difference equations for marital interaction as well as physiology and perception. These equations provided parameters, that allowed us to predict, with over 90 percent accuracy, what was going to happen to a relationship over a three-year period. The main advantage of the math modeling was that using these parameters, we are not only be able to predict, but now understand what people are doing when they affected one another."

If you can wade through this, some of it's pretty interesting - especially this part:

'The New York Times recently reported, in an article about Kinsey, that 100 million dollars of awarded research funds had been reversed by the religious right in the USA because they think that federal dollars shouldn't be doing this kind of research. Even when it has health benefits, like understanding how AIDS spreads.'

So now we know why the Religious Right is so cranky. 'Cause they're not gettin' any.

Joanne Jacobs

"Kids Behaving Very Badly; Rape in the Auditorium; Gunny Therapy; Right to Wear Makeup "

I'd rather see a kid being an individualist by wearing black lipstick and red eye makeup than being a conformist, and standing by and watching as other kids rape a disabled girl. James Herndon may look silly to most people, but at least he's standing up for what he believes in. We need more like him. A lot more.


Texas bans gay foster parents - Yahoo! News

"The Texas House of Representatives passed a bill banning homosexuals, bisexuals and transsexuals from being foster parents. "

I keep hoping I'll wake up soon...



"The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) does not list right-wing domestic terrorists and terrorist groups on a document that appears to be an internal list of threats to the nation's security.
According to the list - part of a draft planning document obtained by CQ Homeland Security - between now and 2011 DHS expects to contend primarily with adversaries such as al Qaeda and other foreign entities affiliated with the Islamic Jihad movement, as well as domestic radical Islamist groups.
It also lists left-wing domestic groups, such as the Animal Liberation Front (ALF) and the Earth Liberation Front (ELF), as terrorist threats, but it does not mention anti-government groups, white supremacists and other radical right-wing movements, which have staged numerous terrorist attacks that have killed scores of Americans. Recent attacks on cars, businesses and property in Virginia, Oregon and California have been attributed to ELF."

The J-Walk Blog: Movie Manners Cards

"Movie Manners Cards
If you still go to the movies, you might be interested in Movie Manner Cards."

Blogthings - Who's Your Inner European?

"Who's Your Inner European?"


"Directions: This is a test to determine which hemisphere primarily controls your emotion, motor skills, music appreciation, empathy, language and arithmetic functions. It should only take a minute or two. Thanks!
Which ear are you more comfortable with listening on the phone?
Left Right Either "

This is very cool! Make sure you check out the links on the top right - fascinating!

Birds of a feather...

The Nattering Nabob

"A lady named Melody Townsel has sent a letter to the Senate Foreign Relations Commitee regarding her experiences with John Bolton's behavior. kos has the story.

This is seriously loonie."


China Buffet workers freed on condition they don't sue

"'Our focus was the way (the migrants) were treated by the government,' Yang said. 'We were trying to get to the explanation. Different authorities gave different explanations. Some have apologized, some gave us excuses. It appeared like a very big case. They mobilized a lot of resources. They flew in agents from all over the country. They even used a helicopter. And it turned out to be nothing.'"

Question of the Day

Today's question is about grammar, specifically plural forms:

You see Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini each cruising down the street in a Ford Focus. Do you say:

A. "Look! There's Kelly and Justin cruising down the street, each in a Ford Focus!"

B. "Look! There go Kelly and Justin in Ford Focuses!"

C. "Hey! There go Kelly and Justin in Ford Focii!"

D. "I wonder whatever happened to Justin Guarini's career, anyway?"

The correct answer is of course "D".


The New York Times > The Man Date

This is sad.

"The Man Date"

The New York Times > Arts > Music > Critic's Notebook: This Is the Sound of Globalization

This is a great article.

WOULD that the state of world music were the state of the world. In the music, boundaries are wide open, curiosity leads to cooperation, memories are long but the lessons of history are positive ones. In the world, well . . .

World music, that happily vague category, encompasses raw field recordings and slick non-Western pop, traditional music and countless twists on traditionalism; the term is also applied to everything from crosscultural fusions to club music with exotic samples to new-age meditation albums. No matter. The broad rubric holds a wealth of music that is now more accessible than ever before. And while major labels have largely lost interest in world music, independents have been busy, while listeners are no longer dependent on the shelf space or classification skills of local record stores."

ABC News: Colorado Man Resuscitates Chicken

"Colorado Man Gives Chicken Mouth-To-Beak Resuscitation, Tells Fowl 'You're Too Young to Die!'"

ABC News: Whale-Dolphin Hybrid Has Baby Wholphin

ABC News: Whale-Dolphin Hybrid Has Baby Wholphin


Don't know if this is true or not, but it's a nice story anyway:
"This photograph shows a red Doberman kissing an exhausted fireman. He had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire. She is pregnant. The firefighter was afraid of her at first, because he had never been around a Doberman before. When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest. A photographer from the Charlotte, North Carolina newspaper, "The Observer," noticed this red Doberman in the distance looking at the fireman. He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do. As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies, and kissed him, when the photographer snapped this photograph."

village voice > people > Savage Love by Dan Savage

Here's a new one:

"Q. I'm a pretty normal guy except for one thing: I'm sexually attracted to zombies."
R. I. P.
Little Miss Scarlett O' Hara Riezner


Sock It to Me!

A Blog about socks! Does it get any better than this?
(It certainly gets worse than this - Over the weekend, I was channel surfing and stopped briefly on VH1's Surreal Life - there was a drunk, naked, bald dwarf on an electric scooter, peeing in a corner of a room, while his roommates watched and laughed. Really, can anyone think of any more convincing evidence that the world is going to hell in a handbasket? As R.E.M. once said, 'It's the End of the World as We Know It...". Of course, they also said '...and I feel fine!', which I'm not too sure about...) Anyway, here's the sock blog:

"New pair of socks--hot off the needles! These are actually my second pair (can I have a couple stars now). The pattern is Cabled Rib from Spring IK. I used Fortissima Socka yarn. It was terrific to work with. These are the first pair of socks that I am actually keeping for myself. Socks just make such great presents... "

Pete's Travels

A British veterinarian's travel diary as he makes his way around South America. Pictures, too.

"Cowboys on the Carretera "

Rage Against the Machine : Why Voting Doesn't Work and What You Can Do About It. || kuro5hin.org

This is old, but still interesting.

"When precinct workers in the 1974 Dade County elections discovered that the voting machines they were using were rigged, they walked off the job and refused to certify the election process. Police and fire fighters took over the polling duties. The next day, the Miami Herald reported the walk out, but not the reason. When the precinct workers went to the media to report the election rigging, the media ignored them. So did the local attorney general. So did the FBI. Citizens who tried to observe the next election were arrested for disturbing the peace.
In 1997, the respected Washington, DC publication, The Hill (thehill.com/news/012903/hagel.aspx), confirmed that Republican Senator Chuck Hagel was the head, and continues to own part of, ES&S - the company that has installed and programmed nearly half the voting machines used in the United States.
In 2002, Diebold systems supplied the state of Georgia with electronic voting machines. In that election, the incumbent Democratic Governor Ray Barnes was defeated, giving the Republicans their first victory there in 134 years. The poll results showed a miraculous 12-point shift in the last 48 hours. Diebold was subsequently sued for applying a last-minute code patch to the machines that was never reviewed and was also, coincidentally, deleted just after the election.
In April, 2004 California's Voting Systems and Procedures Panel, by an 8-0 vote, recommended that California cease the use of certain Diebold machines.
30% of all votes in the 2004 elections will be tabulated by electronic machines that don't have vote-verification systems."


You are a South African bush pilot.
You fly in some critical medical supplies, enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital.
It's a stifling 100 degrees in the shade and you're eager to get back up to the cool, high blue yonder.
On the way back to your plane, you discover that the only bit of shade within 1 mile has become very popular . . .
You start calculating the distance to the plane door and wonder . . .
"Do I feel lucky today?"

The New York Times > Opinion > Editorial: A New Attack on Women's Sports

"The Bush administration has mounted a surreptitious new attack on Title IX, the 33-year-old law that has exponentially expanded the participation of girls and women in sports."

This is bullshit. What's next, mandatory burkas? This is the same administration that told us we had to go to war in Iraq in part because of the way they treated women.

Bush is an asshole.
Bush is an asshole.
Bush is an asshole.

nope, I still don't feel better.

Kitty Porn


Short film review

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie is bad. Really bad. You just won't believe how vastly, staggeringly, jaw-droppingly bad it is. I mean, you might think that The Phantom Menace was a hopelessly misguided attempt to reinvent a much-loved franchise by people who, though well-intentioned, completely failed to understand what made the original popular - but that's just peanuts to the Hitchhiker's movie. Listen."


Brother Rail Gun of Desirable Mindfulness - Unitarian Jihad, the Meme

"The Unitarian Jihad Name Generator."

Read the Jon Carroll link, then go to the generator:


Michael Kinsley

"Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier of Monaco, who died last week, were your textbook royal marriage. But for a royal romance that reaches depths of profound emotion that seems almost human, give me Charles and Camilla any day."

Take Action: Stop the 'nuclear option' and preserve the right to challenge extremist judges.

"Stop the 'Nuclear Option'
Senate Republicans are expected to invoke the 'nuclear option' - an attempt to end the right to filibuster extremist judicial nominees. This unprecedented power grab would hand the White House and its Senate allies the unchecked ability to pack federal courts with out-of-the-mainstream judges. It's an undemocratic effort to seat anti-worker, anti-rights judges in our highest courts-and we have to stop it now."

Elizabethan Thought and Culture

"Areas of exploration:

Levels of physicians-training and experience
The Humours: what are they and how they influence health
Astrology and its role in health
Surgery and cures "


TV Tuners for Your PC

"The cheapest way to record TV shows with your PC is to use a TV tuner--either an internal PCI card or an external USB box.

You don't have to buy a pricey Media Center PC or get a TiVo to record your favorite television shows. For as little as $89, you can outfit your PC with a TV tuner that will let you pause and rewind live TV and record shows to your hard drive."


During the debate over a bill to designate the frontier chuck wagon as the "official state vehicle", Texas State Senators got a bit out of hand. The bill's sponsor, Kel Seliger of Amarillo, was upset that fellow lawmakers weren't taking his bill seriously, interrupting him with silly questions ("Should we call it the Charles Wagon?" and"Can we also designate the low-rider as the official state urban vehicle?")

When yet another senator was about to interrupt with his own one-liner, Seliger fumed, "I've already yielded more than a cheerleader at a drive-in!" The entire chamber went silent, not believing he would diss the revered cheerleaders of the state.

Seliger later blamed "incipient Tourette's syndrome" for his outburst, and suggested "the next bill I do will be for motherhood." (Austin American-Statesman)


AnandTech - More proof that Best Buy is actually "Worst Buy": Man arrested for paying in $2 bills

"PUT YOURSELF in Mike Bolesta's place. On the morning of Feb. 20, he buys a new radio-CD player for his 17-year-old son Christopher's car. He pays the $114 installation charge with 57 crisp new $2 bills, which, when last observed, were still considered legitimate currency in the United States proper. The $2 bills are Bolesta's idea of payment, and his little comic protest, too.

For this, Bolesta, Baltimore County resident, innocent citizen, owner of Capital City Student Tours, finds himself under arrest. "

eBay item 5367705295 (Ends Mar-05-05 21:28:30 PST) - Blue ceramic rocket and penis sculpture

"Blue ceramic rocket and penis sculpture"

The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Contributor: One Hundred Years of Uncertainty

"This might sound like a largely technical advance, updating one description of light to another. But through subsequent research that amplified and extended Einstein's argument (see Figures 1 through 3), scientists revealed a mathematically precise and thoroughly startling picture of reality called quantum mechanics. "

You'll probably want to have your coffee before you tackle this one.

'60 Minutes II' Wins a Peabody Award, Raising Eyebrows

"When the George Foster Peabody Awards for excellence in electronic media were announced yesterday, they cited a program that was later accused of basing a report on fake documents, '60 Minutes II' - and a program that gleefully engages in the production of fake news, 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.' "

Jon Stewart for President!


First Draft - On Messengers and Shooting

"On Messengers and Shooting "

This is a pretty good rant.

The Passion of the Tom

"Before, Republicans just scared other people. Now, they're starting to scare themselves.
When Dick Cheney tells you you've gone too far, you know you're way over the edge."

Darling DeLay is no longer DeLovely...

The Nattering Nabob

"Court Rules to remove Tom DeLay's Feeding Tube"

Via Iggy.


New Zealand's leading news and information website

" A Chinese man jailed and badly beaten for his wife's murder has been freed after she turned up not only alive but with another husband, domestic media have said, revealing a brutal arbitrariness to China's legal system. "

A Side Order of Human Rights

"The need for a corporate edict against slavery in the United States reveals just how bad things have become for farm workers. But it also suggests that the fast food companies now sitting atop America's food system can prevent the sort of abuses that state and federal officials seem unwilling to address. "

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy :: The Official Movie Website

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy :: The Official Movie Website

Woo Hoo!


ThinkGeek :: iCopulate

"Pod On Pod Data Transfer Action!
It's not easy being single."


Dueling Search Engines.

Norwegian Job Ad Seeks Friendly Vikings

"OSLO, Norway Apr 5, 2005 - Help wanted: Vikings. Must be friendly, tourist-oriented and interested in ancient Norse traditions. Crazed, bloodthirsty pillagers need not apply.
In a rare employment opportunity for Vikings, whose job market peaked about 1,000 years ago when they terrorized Europe in their longboats, southern Norway's Vestfold county wants to fill slots at its local historical park. "

The Nattering Nabob

Courtesy of Iggy -

"International gay leaders are planning a 10-day WorldPride festival and parade in Jerusalem in August, saying they want to make a statement about tolerance and diversity in the Holy City, home to three great religious traditions.

Now major leaders of the three faiths - Christianity, Judaism and Islam - are making a rare show of unity to try to stop the festival. They say the event would desecrate the city and convey the erroneous impression that homosexuality is acceptable."

As I posted on another website, I can't think of anything to say about these idiots that isn't obscene. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be human.

If people worried less about what others were doing in the privacy of their own homes, and worried more about the hypocritical lives they themselves are living, it would be a much better world.

And pigs would fly.

Word of the Day

Made this one up myself:

My MP3 player is not an iPod, but "iPod" is easier to say than "MP3 Player". So just to be fair, I'm going to call it my "FauxPod".

Remember, you heard it hear first, folks.

Pale Male: Eggs in The Nest Since March 9th - Hatching mid April!

"Day 28 of incubation"

Something that actually went right in this world. Pale Male and Lola have picked up where they left off after those corporate creeps threw them and their nest off the building.

Joel Stein

"I regret finally learning how to get to Sesame Street"


The New York Times > Health > A Therapy for Cat Allergies, Thanks to Mice

"But laboratory mice specially bred to be allergic to cats have been cured by researchers who have developed a novel approach to allergy treatment. "

Hallelujah! But I don't want to wait 3 to 5 years...

Homemakers Are the Fat Cats. Who Knew? Their Husbands.

"The most generous campaign contributors - the ones who write the fattest checks to candidates for mayor of New York City - are not chief executives, doctors or lawyers. They are not even lobbyists.
They are women who call themselves homemakers, and some of them apparently do not realize just how generous they have been."

The New York Times > National > As Satellite Radio Takes Off, It Is Altering the Airwaves

"Just a blink after the newly emergent titans of radio - Clear Channel Communications, Infinity Broadcasting and the like - were being accused of scrubbing diversity from radio and drowning listeners in wall-to-wall commercials, the new medium of satellite radio is fast emerging as an alternative. And broadcasters are fighting back."


Definition of the Day


SYLLABICATION: re·ful·gent
PRONUNCIATION: r-fljnt, -fl-
ADJECTIVE: Shining radiantly; resplendent.

OTHER FORMS: re·fulgence, re·fulgen·cy —NOUN
re·fulgent·ly —ADVERB

USAGE EXAMPLE: President Bush, blissfully refulgent in his ignorance . . .

Dr. Seuss explained

I wish I knew who wrote this.

The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages, Beginner Books, $3.95

The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetry in which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes and bold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably Green Eggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower With Mommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under the pseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freud in a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two young children understand their own frustrated sexuality.

The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned by their mother, staring mournfully through the window of their single-family dwelling. In the foreground, a large tree/phallic symbol dances wildly in the wind, taunting the children and encouraging them to succumb to the sexual yearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other. Even to the most unlearned reader, the blatant references to the incestuous relationship the two share set the tone for Seuss' probing examination of the satisfaction of primitive needs. The cat proceeds to charm the wary youths into engaging in what he so innocently refers to as "tricks." At this point, the fish, an obvious Christ figure who represents the prevailing Christian morality, attempts to warn the children, and thus, in effect, warns all of humanity of the dangers associated with the unleashing of primal urges. In response to this, the cat proceeds to balance the aquatic naysayer on the end of his umbrella, essentially saying, "Down with morality; down with God!"

After pooh-poohing the righteous rantings of the waterlogged Christ figure, the cat begins to juggle several icons of Western culture, most notably two books, representing Old and New Testaments, and a saucer of lacteal fluid, an ironic reference to maternal loss which the children experienced when their mother abandoned them "for the afternoon." Our heroic Id adds to this bold gesture a rake and a toy man, and thus completes the Oedipal triangle.

Later in the novel, Seuss introduces the proverbial Pandora's box, a large red crate out of which the Id releases Thing One, or Freud's concept of Ego, the division of the psyche that serves as the conscious mediator between the person and reality, and Thing Two, the Superego, which functions to reward and punish through a system of moral attitudes, conscience, and guilt. Referring to this box, the cat says, "Now look at this trick. Take a look!" In this, Dr. Seuss uses the children as a brilliant metaphor for the reader, and asks the reader to re-examine his own inner self.

The children, unable to control the Id, Ego, and Superego allow these creatures to run free and mess up the house, or more symbolically, to control their lives. This rampage continues until the fish, or Christ symbol, warns that the mother is returning to reinstate the Oedipal triangle that existed before her abandonment of the children. At this point, Seuss introduces a many-armed cleaning device which represents the psychoanalytic couch, which proceeds to put the two youngsters' lives back in order.

With powerful simplicity, clarity, and drama, Seuss reduces Freud's concepts on the dynamics of the human psyche to an easily understood gesture. Dr. Seuss' poetry and choice of words is equally impressive and serves as a splendid counterpart to his bold symbolism. In all, his writing style is quick and fluid, making The Cat in the Hat impossible to put down. While this novel is 61 pages in length, and one can read it in five minutes or less, it is not until after multiple readings that the genius of this modern day master becomes apparent.

This, too.


To accurately identify emotionally disturbed individuals, Foster, Algovrine, and Kaufman (in press) developed the Cat Test. This simple, yet novel, test is easily administered by professionals, parents, or aides. There are three steps:

1) Place testee in empty room facing far wall.
2) Place cat in center of room. Lock the door.
3) After 10 minutes, enter the room and observe results.

Foster et al. noted that the Cat Test allows for fine discrimination between subsets of Mental Illness, offering the following interpretations of the results:

1) OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Four neat piles of fur found in the corners of the room – cat alive, but cold.

2) SOCIALIZED DELINQUENT: Fur scattered randomly about room and on testee – cat alive, still cold.

3) BI-POLAR (manic stage): Pieces of cat scattered randomly about room – CAT TERMINATED.

4) BI-POLAR (depressive stage): Pieces of testee scattered about room – emotional stability of cat suspect.

5) PARANOID REACTION: Testee cowering in far corner of the room – cat alive and sleeping in the center of the room.

6) PSYCHOPATHOLOGY: Only evidence of cat is skin, wrapped loosely about testee’s head – CAT ASSUMED TERMINATED.

7) SCHIZOPHRENIC REACTION: Testee in center of room carrying on long, existential discussion with cat – cat alive, but confused.

8) NEUROTIC REACTION: Testee asking cat for advice about migraine headache – cat alive, still confused.

9) CATATONIC REACTION: Testee in corner of room with back arched, hair on end, hissing, and refusing to acknowledge presence of cat – cat alive, very confused, and sexually aroused.

Seems as good a system as any.